If you are someone that makes and breaks resolutions each New Year, then how about doing things differently this year? Here’s some stuff you might find helpful.
I do a lot of work with the human mind, and I understand a great deal about habits and how they are formed, good or bad. There are some things we do automatically, without thinking about them first, such as which leg you put into your jeans first when getting dressed. Automatically scrolling through our phones the minute we sit down on the bus is one of many things we might do without thinking first.
It takes anything from three to twelve weeks to develop a new habit or to replace an unwanted one.
As humans, in the Western world at least, we want things easier and faster – or both. Think about all the TV commercials for the latest “must-have” item, it will no doubt be promising some benefit or other for very little effort, and no doubt it will be faster than the previous version.
Impatience is just one of the reasons so many people quit their New Year goals by the end of February. Quite simply, they have not given themselves enough time to really establish their new regime and allow it to become something they do without thinking. In general, until a new habit is really well-established, our minds will be constantly trying to pull us back into our old and unwanted habits. It is part of our mind preferring what it already knows, its safe, comfort zone. It is these sub-conscious urges that can only be addressed by repetition, so that a new habit or a replacement for a bad one can be put firmly in place.
The situation is further complicated when people try to make too many changes at once such as stopping smoking and losing weight at the same time. Oh so frequently, they will not succeed at either. Failure happens when someone tries to go ‘hell for leather’ by throwing themselves into something in a big way and alarms the sub-conscious with fears of the unknown.
You can actually prime your own mind for a greater chance of reaching your goal.
With each small success your brain rewards you with a small hit of dopamine, the ‘feel-good’ drug your body can produce all by itself. That feeling will encourage you to repeat the experience, so when you are trying to establish an exercise programme for example, it becomes easier each day because your brain is seeking that ‘feel-good’ hit. Once that habit is established, your sub-conscious (comfort zone) will be far less likely to resist the change. In fact your sub-conscious will give you a nudge if you skip your newly established habit.
My journey into becoming a therapist started by shedding nine stone in weight, so here’s my favourite tip for you if you have decided to shed some weight this year.
As humans, we don’t like losing anything, we are not programmed that way. We are programmed to hunt and gather, and to acquire. Don’t think of it as losing weight, think of it as gaining! Gaining a better figure, gaining better health, gaining whatever benefits there are to the decision you have made. Tell this to yourself repeatedly, because what we say to ourselves is really important, the more we hear something, even if it is what we say to ourselves, the more we believe it. When you get the urge to eat something or do anything else you want to avoid – remind yourself of your goal, say it out loud if needs be – shout it at yourself in the bathroom mirror if you have to! It makes a difference.
I’ll be back every month this year with more info on mental health and well-being. If there is a particular aspect you would like me to cover then why not drop me an email, I’d love to hear from you.
See you next month.
If you’d like to know more about my weight loss journey, there is more information on my website.
https://www.martinfurber.com/how-to-lose-weight-without-a-diet
You can find me on Facebook www.facebook.com/martinfurbertherapy
