Have you noticed how the afternoons have started to get longer? It may not feel like it, temperature-wise, but Spring is on the way and the days are about to keep getting longer.Many people don’t realise that the number of daylight hours can really affect our sense of mental well-being. It may sound silly, but it is virtually impossible to feel really down, if you are looking directly up at a clear, bright, blue sky. If you don’t believe me, try it!
The long and dark winter months can really put some people on a downer, it is perfectly natural. If you are one of those people, then it is important to remember that the dark days do pass. It is actually built-in to us, as part of our survival system, to eat plenty more and to stay indoors over the dark winter months.
Back in the days when we lived in caves and went out to hunt for our food, if we were snowed in, or it was too dark and dangerous to go out hunting, as was no doubt the case during much of the winter, then the old cave dweller would pull the animal skin rug over their head and lie-low until things changed, or the danger had passed.
We have adapted that kind of behaviour to the modern day symptoms of depression. That’s why if someone is depressed and stays in bed all day, they are often tempted to do the same thing again the next day, this of course is not helpful in dealing with things.
In modern therapy we talk about the 3Ps – Positive Action – Positive Interaction – Positive Thinking. Easier said than done, especially if you are feeling down due to the time of the year, or for any other reason.
Each one of the 3Ps is equally important to our overall well-being, but let’s take a look at positive interaction for a minute.
What it means essentially, is having a sense of connection, with others who are like us. We are by nature tribal creatures, we thrive better as a tribe than as individuals, again it is in our DNA. For many of us who identify under the Rainbow Flag, we are closer to our LGBTQ+ extended family than to our birth families. This is why it is important to reach out and make use of everything that Sahir House can offer in terms of support and well-being, if you are feeling at all isolated. Most of us who are from any type of minority will know what it is like to feel disconnected, marginalised or discriminated against, at some point.
If you are stuck in a rut and would like to know how you can at least begin to feel a little bit better, and get into a more positive frame of mind, here is a little therapy trick for you.
Ask yourself where you currently feel on a ‘Happiness’ scale of 1 to 10, Number 1 feeling so bad you don’t even want to get out of bed, and number 10 is where everything is just perfect.
So, let’s assume you might be feeling say 6 out of 10.
Now, think carefully about the following question…
If you went to bed tonight, and during the night something happened, you’re not quite sure what, but tomorrow, you woke up feeling 1 step further up the scale, say 7 out of 10, how would that feel? What would you be doing differently? Who would notice? What would they notice about you that makes you a 7 out of 10 instead of a 6? How do you think people would react to you if you were that bit further up the scale?
Really try to picture yourself that little bit further up the happiness scale, try to feel what you would be feeling and see what you would be seeing if you were feeling that bit happier. Spend a few minutes trying to immerse yourself in that image…
This is something we do in modern therapy. It is designed to get you picturing yourself in a better place than you are now. Without getting too technical, it starts to get you using the intellectual side of your brain, rather than thinking from the negative, primitive side. It is a process that we would repeat with someone on every therapy visit. It helps to train the mind to automatically start to look for the positive rather than the negative. Most people find it works really well!
I hope you have a great month, next month I am going to be taking a look at anger management. So if you, or someone you know is affected by anger issues, be sure to check it out.
I you would like me to cover any other subjects to do with mental health and well-being please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.
Please feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com
If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website https://www.martinfurber.com
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