I specialise in helping people to deal with stress, anxiety and other mental health and well-being issues. I’ve long admired the work of Sahir House and the work they do to help, inform and keep us safe. I am from Manchester originally, and now live in Lancashire, I work in Preston and Blackburn. My connection to Liverpool is the fact that my Mum and all her side of the family are from here. She was extremely proud of her roots, and so am I.
I help people from all walks of life in my day-to-day work. However, being a gay man I have plenty of lived experience of the issues many of us, who identify under the rainbow flag, have to deal with, and that is where my real passion for helping people is. I have plenty of practical experience helping people of all genders from our community, including many who are affected in some way by HIV.
Being the age I am I have lived through from when HIV first became an issue, right back to the days when it was first known as HTLV III. I am acutely aware of the mental anguish that long-term survivors have been through since the early years. From the shortened life expectations of the early pre-treatment years, together with the blatant hatred in the media at that time through to the varying degrees of prejudices faced along the way, some of which are still seen.
Any of us who identify under the rainbow flag have a lot of common ground in the way we are marginalised and have to deal with issues such as coming out, family, isolation, rejection, employment issues etc. Many of us still suffer from the trauma of early life bullying and the (sometimes) lifelong effect this can have on us.
Typically, over the years, history has shown us that when we face economic hard times, the marginalised groups in society suddenly become the targets of mainstream hatred. The way our trans siblings are currently being attacked in the media is perhaps a reflection of this.
At times like this is it vital that we stick together, support each other and build our mental resilience. A good sense of community and connection is more important than ever.
I’m here to offer help and guidance together with practical tips in terms of how we can help ourselves to cope with some of the stuff life throws at us, and how we can help ourselves to feel better.
I like to offer simple explanations of how our minds work many people find it really helpful. Like most things the more we understand something the more we can help ourselves to feel better.
Did you know for example, that our minds cannot always tell the difference between imagination and reality?
Think about this for a minute. Have you ever been watching a scary movie or something similar at home, safe and sound with the curtains drawn and the door locked, knowing that you are perfectly safe on the sofa. Yet, when you get to a scary part in the film you still jump out of your skin?
Logically, you know it is just a picture on a screen and that you are safe and sound. So why does it happen?
It’s all down to the fight/flight side of your brain – that’s the bit that keeps a look-out for you all the time. It cannot always tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not. This is all part of our natural defence mechanism, the part of the mind that is designed to keep us safe. Sometimes it overdoes things, and it cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
If we are anxious, not sleeping well or are otherwise under a lot of stress, then that side of our brain is even less able to work out what is real and what is not. If we then hear people say bad things about us or our community it can really affect us. This can build up over time without us realising it and begin to affect our long-term mental well-being.
The great news is there are various things we can do to help ourselves to feel better, and that is what I am here to help with.
I’m going to be doing a column in this newsletter every month and I’d love it if you get in touch to tell me anything you would like me to mention in terms of mental health and well-being. From how to control panic attacks if you suffer from them to why some of us tend to ‘fly off the handle’ more quickly than other – I want to cover a range of subjects that are relevant to you – the people reading this, so please fire your questions and suggestions over to me.
Please feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com
If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website https://www.martinfurber.com
Or find me on social media
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/
Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist
